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April 2005 Archive

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FRANZ VERDANTLAND (published 25 April 2005)

Top pop combo The Greens have decided to throw in their lot with the Glasgow beat scene. Don't miss their current political broadcast being directed by Alex Cox's Pippins, the genius behind cult movie 'Recycle Man'.


IT WISNAE ME (published 25 April 2005)

Bush gets behind yer man Tony for the new flash video from those clever people over at It Wasn't Me




CAMILLA QUEEN (published 18 April 2005)

See the video for the fantastic song currently capturing the nation's heart. Warning: contains references to the Royal family. Those of a Republican nature may be seriously queasy: Camilla Queen.


HEY HO, LET'S POPE (published 18 April 2005)

The new pontiff, Pope Benny of Crossroads, who adamantly denies taking fashion tips from Prince Harry of Englandshire, has released an updated version of The Ramones' classic to verify his stance and get his message across to the kids:



I'm from a very Kraut line
I'm leaning to the right, I'm
Kissing tarmac soon, I'm
Blitzkrieg Pope

I'm piling in the money
I'm generating faith heat
Pulsating to the God beat
Blitzkrieg Pope

Hey ho, letís go
Don't shoot me in the back now
What they want, I donít know
I'm all revved up and ready to go


JAMBOS FOR PANTOS (published 11 April 2005)

Following their sensational display of booing at last week's Cup game, several Hearts fans have been signed up as pantomime audience members for next season's productions, including Pope in Boots, a controversial new interpretation about the pontiff's adventures in the pharmaceutical chain



LONDON CALLING (published 11 April 2005)

It's that time again. When those nice Polly Titians come crawling for your vote. See how those clever people over at see this wondrous event through the medium of Clash and Flash: London Calling.




BE THE NEXT POPE (published 4 April 2005)

Applications are flying in from eager hopefuls dying to step into the fisherman's shoes. Get your application in now, before it's too late, at this address: Be The Pope




RATS IN THEIR EYES (published 4 April 2005)

Controversy erupts over the latest reality show which promises to torture contestants until they pee themselves. Based on the hilarious sequence from 1984, the producers believe it is the natural next step up from Big Brother.


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