(published
24 June 2005)
This
week's Reckless is a Billy Childish special as his music picks in this
week's Metro deserve to be preserved on the interweb forever. This,
my friends, is exactly what music is all about.
ON MY IPOD
Billy Childish's six-track mix
Death Letter
Blues by Son House
Songs aren't any good in themselves. It's only sound and performance
that makes them authentic. Son House had the sound and the religious
intensity to play blues music with force and sincerity. This is his
most famous recording. It's good for the soul and educating the masses
away from pap and New Romantic dross.
The Gray
Goose by Leadbelly
Leadbelly's recordings are always straight and true. On this upbeat
number, he sings about how nothing on Earth can beat the gray goose
for toughness. There's no producer here, just a man who pressed the
'on' button - that's how I like it.
Last One
There by Fire Dept
A top song from Britain's greatest unknown group. Often seen lurking
around Brighton, Cambridge and The Fens in the early 1990s, the Fire
Dept had a thorough understanding of true rock 'n' roll and were therefore
totally ignored by trendy Londoners. Luckily, there were a couple of
great LPs recorded. Why no one spins their records or builds statues
to them in parks is beyond me.
High and
Lonesome by Jimmy Reed
A great upbeat number from the king of shuffling blues that's guaranteed
to gladden the heart. Call it blues, rock 'n' roll or punk rock, as
long as the players are dressed sensibly, it's alright by me.
Where Were
You? by The Mekons
If you've got this, Naive by The Killjoys, Spiral Scratch by The Buzzcocks,
Ambition by Subway Sect and 14th Floor by TV Personalities, then you
know what good music should sound like and you've got no excuse for
listening to David Bowie.
Comanche
by Link Wray
Without Comanche you wouldn't have My Generation. Pete Townshend nicked
the riff straight off this scorching rendition. Anti-pop, it sounds
like the Daleks exterminating The Shadows, which has got to be top rock
'n' roll.
JESUS
JUICE - THE MOVIE (published
16 June 2005)
by our Pop Correspondent, Tina Park
Eclectech
and Doghorse Productions bring you the song that made the whole world
scream. Forget the Duck Custard, see the world's most innocent man extol
the virtues of Jesus
Juice
HOODIES
IN A HUFF (published
15 June 2005)
Staff
at KKK Maxx stores across the country are really really mad over the
latest attempt to ban them from shopping centres. Local manageress,
Bet Lyncher told The Reckless: 'It's no fair,' before stomping off in
a right strop.
I.D,
I.D, I.D (published
14 June 2005)
Another fantastic Flash video song from the ultra talented
Eclectech and Doghorse, this time featuring Gilbert and Sullivanesque
goodness. Oh, and the cutest puppy pianist...ever! Here: Charles
Clarke
PANTS
(published
14 June 2005)
by James Kelly
The owner of an Aberdeen lap-dancing club has flogged a pair
of Madonna’s knickers worn in the star's film Body Of Evidence for £1,000.
This beats a previous record of 69p paid for a pair of Michelle McManus’s
pants used to cover the Millenium Dome.
MONKEY
BUSINESS (published
7 June 2005)
by James Kelly
An
Indian government minister has appointed a monkey to his staff. The
‘langur’ monkey has the job of scaring away other monkeys who break
in and trash the Delhi office. Rangers chairman David Murray said: ‘At
Ibrox, I call this a manager.’
MUNCHIES
FOR THE MILLIONS (published
5 June 2005)
by James Kelly and Ed
As millions prepare to march on Embra, Kellogs announces its
new cereal to cash in on the craze.
Meanwhile, the make poverty history campaign has been dubbed as unworkable
by Professor Doolittle of Princeton University, and Big Tam from my
local pub.
Professor Doolittle says: 'It should be replaced by make poverty geography
with rich countries/areas taking responsibility for poor ones.'
Big Tam said: 'I've been poor ah ma life. Somebody wid huv tae teach
me tae be summit else.'
Concerns were also raised for charity shops, with people having nowhere
to dump their auld gear.
VIAGRA
FOR THE BRAIN (published
3 June 2005)
by James Kelly
Brain
boosters being developed by scientists are set to do the same for mental
alertness as Viagra has done for sexual performance.
Dr Gary Lynch, who discovered the drug, explained: 'We all have the
same computer but we're running with different voltage levels. In effect,
ampakines ups the voltage.’
Barry Ferguson’s Agent said: ‘We are very interested and have applied
for permission to purchase two nuclear power plants and three thousand
wind farms just in case.’
HAUD
ON A SECK (published
2 June 2005)
by James Kelly
Inventor
Mor Maty Seck has designed an automatic condom fitter, which allows
them to be put on in a fraction of the time.
We asked a cross section of the Scottish public what they thought of
the new device.
Hamish on Barra said: “Tis the work of the devil. I am a 42-year-old
virgin and I still stay with my mither.”
Sharon from Saltcoats said: “Smashin’. It’s just like blowin’ bubbles,
except yir dain it oan some guy’s nob.”
David in Dunfermline said: “Forget waiting a “Seck”, I’ve no had ma
Nat King in years.”
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