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November 2005 Archive

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SUPERDUPER HERO (published 30 November 2005)

In order to sex up its image in its forthcoming battle over the retirement age, the public sector has launched its own superhero on the nation - Silver Servant. Be officious - be very officious.






YOU'RE GULLIBLE (published 30 November 2005)

Well-known whiny voiced rhyming slang, James Blunt, has a new video out, produced by Doghorse and Eclectech. See hear: You're Gullible




HILL CLIMBERS PREPARED (published 25 November 2005)

As the traditional Scottish weather closes in, Mountain rescue teams complain of ill prepared walkers.An irate climber, M.T. Napper, retorted yesterday, 'What nonsense! I always make sure I don my snorkel before an ascent of Ben Nevis.'



EXTERMINATE! (published 23 November 2005)

Reports are coming in suggesting that the leader of the western world and part-time door to door salesman, Geordie Bushell, is being stalked by a giant dalek.






CELEBRITY SWEARS (published 18 November 2005)

Following his spectacular sweary fest at the Scottish Baftas this week, top TV funster, Ford Kiernan, has launched his own anti-celebrity mag. Luvvies, don't expect any help on any day.





ROMANOV (published 14 November 2005)

Complaints about the latest BBC blockbuster have been flooding in. Apparently there's not enough sex and violence and too much farce. A spokesbody said yesterday, 'If you tolerate Rix, then your children will be next.'





WORRA BELTER! (published 10 November 2005)

Sun editor, Rebekah Wade, gives it laldy, laying low the hard man of Albert Square. A breathless extra from the Queen Vic said yesterday, 'Ere, wot's all this, then?' as they distributed the regulation jellied eels and apple and pears round Albert Square.




CELEBRITY FREAK HAIR (published 4 November 2005)

Phil Spector has become the latest recipient of the government's hugely popular Freak Hair For the Elderly initiative. Environmentalists have also applauded Mr Spector's offer to house millions of woodland creatures in his splendid barnet.


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