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Top brainy boffin types have unleashed the latest mp3 gadget. A spokesperson for Scientific Stuff, Rippling Forehead, said yesterday, 'I believe this is a major breakthrough in music technology. It won't make you very popular on the bus, though.'
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Scoatch Foosty Meenster, Crack 'Cocaine' McConnell, has dismissed reports that he's tired of running the country and wants somebody else to have a wee shot. 'I'm pure burstin' to stay an MSP, me,' he slavered yesterday.
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Shocking new revelations have revealed (shockingly) the singularly sordid secrets surrounding the royal eaters of beef. Our exclusive saucy snap reveals (sordidly) just how low the beefy ones have sunk in their abuse of each others black rods.
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The latest mix mash addition to our Parly Mixtures page sees Franz Ferdinand giving it laldy whilst our Caledonian chieftains strut their flunkie stuff. See Take Me Out To The Parly
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This month's absurdly gorgeous CD features cover versions of some of the most potent pop songs ever written. Glam gargoyles, dour Supremes, special guest vocalising...Too many highlights to note here. Why don't you just listen to the lot? Get it here: Wafting The Covers
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Another parly remix joins the merry throng on the Parly Mixtures page. This time, Scottish flavour of the month, The Fratellis, clash with our elected representatives as issues of crime and flatulence get an airing. See Parly Dagger
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Michael Martin, speaker of the House of Commons, officially releases his new single this week, in the face of the recent fracas caused by his outbursts of bored insanity during Prime Minister's Question Time. Hear it here: Shaddap You Face (mp3 - right click, save as...)
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A strict new door policy is being enforced throughout the Arctic and Antarctic as bouncers step in to halt the upsurge in inappropriately shod penguins.
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NEW I-POD 
AH'M NO TIRED 
BLACK ROD ABUSE 
TAKE ME OUTSIDE AND GIVE ME A GOOD SEEING TO 
FREE CD! FREE CD! FREE CD! 
HOOF HEARTED 
ARCTIC FLUNKIES