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HUGHIE GREEN'S MY DAD
(Mackay)

Hughie Green, he's obscene
And he had a lot of affairs
But what everyone wants to know is
Did he fuck Pam Ayers?

The answer is yes

Hughie Green's my dad
No wonder I feel bad
Pam Ayers is my mum
I'm a suicide waiting to happen

Paula Yates masturbates
Furiously up in heaven
What she doesn't appreciate is
Hughie left me with 57 step brothers
And 135 and a half step mothers

I mean this most sincerely folks
These are not just really bad jokes
...well, they are
Hughie also had the pox
That's why he thought up Opportunity Knocks
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The Top 20 Downloads

Previously

My Beautiful Ninja
Her Lips Were Made to Kiss Megaphones
Where I Live
666 Great Junction Street
Joss
Hard Shoulder
Merciless Eyebrows
Sanity is not Statistical
Gie's Yer Jaiket
Middle-Management
I Fought the War (And the War Won)
Dead Cowboy
Carolyn Yes
Chris's House
Hungover and Out
Match Steward
Inscrutable Coupon
The Day We Went To See They Might Be Giants
Michael Cade
Orang Utan
Jesus Hates Me
The Leith Police Dismisseth Us
The Butcher
Zoo Suits
Beyoncé is my Fiancée
That's George Galloway, Son
Of Mince and Men
(Do the) Leith Walk
Bute House Sycophants
Wetherspoons Nights
The Rainbow Song
The Bar is High
WTFAYBOA
Pink Floyd Are Shit
Lost in Franz Ferdinand
Zoinks! A Tenner
Central Belt Blues
Dead Funny
God in a Box
There Was A Rock Critic
Rowche Rumble
Bingo Master's Breakout
Touch Sensitive
Kurt Cobana
Delete As Applicable
When Not To Talk
Panto
Radio Reckless
300 Words
Ad Lib
Don't Involve Yourself
The Sound of Music Falling Apart
Itchy Feet
Rainy Friday
Kill Together
The Plagiarist
It's a Long Way Back to Beethoven		 Who Takes The Blame
Please Pass The Milk
I Hear The Wind Blow
When It Wants
Mysterious Whisper
The Guy Who Hit Me In The Eye
New Friend
Heimlich Manoeuvres in the Dark
The Frosty Snowman
Hey! Student
Cindy Tells Edinburgh Man
The Littlest Rebel
Living Too Late
Jawbone and the Air Rifle
Do Not Drink The Tennents
Everything Is Catching On Fire
Rock JD
I Don't Understand You
Darkened Corridors
King of the Swingers
Fuck This Shit
Wherever's the Fuckin' Taxi, Cunt?
Should I Stay Or Should I Go?
Heaven
Flesh Number One (Beatle Dennis)
Listening To The Higsons
Bannockburning
Stipetoe In The Rain
Daz For Dania
Mouldy Old D'Oh
Lady McCartney
99% of Gargoyles Look Like Bob Todd
There She Goes
Lashed Christmas
O.C. Clause
Nae Luck Everybody
Parly and Happy
Scary Burd
Love Thy Violence
Elected
The First Minister's Dressing Gown
Damaged Red Goods
Thick Cunt
Davie O'Hara
Strange Behaviour
Are You Being Served The Wright Stuff?
I'm Free Range
Aw Fuck, The Police!
Abba Got Back
Walking To Rehab
The Day My Pad Went 9 to 5
Funktionality
And Then?
Funeral Flesh
Accidental Lives
Philosophy
Alex Salmond

Archbishop Desmond Tutu
Saviour Breath
Big John Smeaton
No More Smeaton
Campbell's Sauce
Noah Fucking Clue
Jenny Says
Where Seagulls Dare
Night, Thriller and Death
Wendy Alexander
I'm The Manse
Sic Transit Gloria Scotiae
You Absolute Cunt
The Thistle's Characteristics (Part 1)
The Barren Tree
We Don't Need To Share The Lavvy
Let's Eat
Greenhouse Girl
The Magnificent Folk Song
I Ride Bicycles
Talk About September 11
The Curry Song
Kayak
Donald Trump
King of the Swingers (Perjury Mix)
Do The Loony Dook
In Recognition (Sean Connery Mix)
Hey Jude Law
Jeremy Paxman
No Cold Blooded Child
Jocko Euro
Monarchy Mash
Filling Out Forms
The New Sound
Bill Clinton's Havana
Hillary Clinton
Do The Necessary
I'm Dead
Hammer Time
John Prescott


The Top 20

 

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