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This week: Job References “Trustworthy” - will generally get the sandwich order right “High Flier” - will do anything you ask if you let them have your car parking space “Popular” - Remembers to put toner in the copier “Ambitous” - Pays into a pension fund “Highly Motivated” - Bought own electric stapler “Promising prospects” - Runs an office sweepstake “Team player” - Doesn’t bugger about with the heating thermostat “Proactive” - Buys the first round after work “Invaluable” - Knows all the office scandal “Enthusiastic” - Will give good head in the office loo in order not to work weekends “IT literate” - Emails you when he is just sitting across the room ‘Supportive’ - Opens the door for the cleaner because she looks like Kate Moss in marigolds ‘Good communication skills.’ - Lies effectively ‘Creative’ - Thinks of another lie to cover the first one ‘Innovative’ - Crap liar but will always have a good excuse for lying. ‘Constant Achiever’ - Can reach level nine on mobile phone games. ‘Adaptable’ - Bi-sexual. “Trained to a high standard of anti-discrinimatory practice” - “Focussed on Health and Safety issues” - Wears a condom ‘Tough negotiator’ - Bums cigarettes ‘Forward thinking’ - Puts the office clock five minutes fast ‘Makes things happen’ - Practical joker “Can do attitude” - Brown nose ‘Hands on’ - Randy ‘Conscientious’ - Expects money back that you have borrowed ‘Determined’ - Keeps asking for it back ‘Personal investor’ - Grabs all the overtime ‘Credit to the company’ - Takes the credit for everything “Good time management” - likes a good time with the manager “Teambuilder” - Arranges hefty whip rounds for people they made redundant “Proactive” - Making sure the whip round is big enough to pay for the stripper “Talented” - Can discreetly toss you off in the canteen queue without anything falling off his/her tray. “Good allrounder” - Will do the same and buy you a latte too. “Performs well under pressure” - Can complete all the above while eating a cream horn
see also Dr Farquar-Smith on: |
