Lady McCartney
(Hartney/Mackay/Lennon/McCartney)

Lady McCartney, with her wooden leg,
After her divorce she'll never have to beg;
Who finds the money when you pay the rent,
Could it be an alimony settlement?

Friday night your marriage needed mending
Monday morning dreamt of a massive sum,
Beatles' royalties are never ending
Sell your story to the SUN!

Old Lord McCartney, now he's sixty four,
No-one needs him, no-one feeds him anymore!
Pa pa pa pa...
Sell your story to the SUN!

Meanwhile, Madonna, baby at her breast
Wonders how we manage to feed the rest
She told the father, the wean's no comin' back
Maybe she and Macca could adopt Iraq

Tuesday afternoon is never ending
Oprah Winfrey, then the Sunday Sport
Thursday night she met with Paul McCartney
See you in court

Lady Madonna, children at your feet
Wonder how you manage to make ends meet

 

(from the album Runny Eggritte)

 

Previously
My Beautiful Ninja
Her Lips Were Made to Kiss Megaphones
Where I Live
666 Great Junction Street
Joss
Hard Shoulder
Merciless Eyebrows
Sanity is not Statistical
Gie's Yer Jaiket
Middle-Management
I Fought the War (And the War Won)
Dead Cowboy
Carolyn Yes
Chris's House
Hungover and Out
Match Steward
Inscrutable Coupon
The Day We Went To See They Might Be Giants
Michael Cade
Orang Utan
Jesus Hates Me
The Leith Police Dismisseth Us
The Butcher
Zoo Suits
Beyoncé is my Fiancée
That's George Galloway, Son
Of Mince and Men
(Do the) Leith Walk
Bute House Sycophants
Wetherspoons Nights
The Rainbow Song
The Bar is High
WTFAYBOA
Pink Floyd Are Shit
Lost in Franz Ferdinand
Zoinks! A Tenner
Central Belt Blues
Dead Funny
God in a Box
There Was A Rock Critic
Rowche Rumble
Bingo Master's Breakout
Touch Sensitive
Kurt Cobana
Delete As Applicable
When Not To Talk
Panto
Radio Reckless
300 Words
Ad Lib
Don't Involve Yourself
The Sound of Music Falling Apart
Itchy Feet
Rainy Friday
Kill Together
The Plagiarist
It's a Long Way Back to Beethoven
Who Takes The Blame
Please Pass The Milk
I Hear The Wind Blow
When It Wants
Mysterious Whisper
The Guy Who Hit Me In The Eye
New Friend
Heimlich Manoeuvres in the Dark
The Frosty Snowman
Hey! Student
Cindy Tells Edinburgh Man
The Littlest Rebel
Living Too Late
Jawbone and the Air Rifle
Do Not Drink The Tennents
Everything Is Catching On Fire
Rock JD
I Don't Understand You
Darkened Corridors
King of the Swingers
Fuck This Shit
Wherever's the Fuckin' Taxi, Cunt?
Should I Stay Or Should I Go?
Heaven
Flesh Number One (Beatle Dennis)
Listening To The Higsons
Bannockburning
Stipetoe In The Rain
Daz For Dania
Mouldy Old D'Oh

The top 10

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