Part
25
Lech puckered his face to allow the cogs in his memory
to correctly align in an attempt to recall the important
information exactly as he remembered it.
'I
was hearing this from someone in the afterlife,' he
said. 'The Boggles are workers at the coalface of
humanity, labeling everything with their tiny stickers
according to the rules laid down since God knows when.'
'God,
schmod,' said the president dismissively and uncharacteristically
Jewishly.
'Everyone knows he doesn't exist. And why people in
the afterlife keep on pretending he does is beyond
me. What's the point in believing in God when you're
dead?'
'Because,'
said Lutha, 'it's not all about living and dying as
you well know. Well, OK, it is all about living and
dying. But God controls the dead as well as the living.'
'But
nobody ever sees him,' said the president exasperated.
'Well,
you've got to have some mystery in life….And death.'
'Do
you know what you're talking about?' said the president.
'It
is beyond me,' said Lutha. 'Knowledge is a dangerous
thing. Would pigeons coo if they knew they could bark?'
The
president looked blank. 'Can we get back to the Boggles?'
he said.
'By
all means.'
'Thank
you. Now, I'm prepared to concede that the Boggles
are the ones who put up all these labels, but, where
are they?'
'Ah,
their living quarters I am not aware of. I think I
must have drifted off or did the hoovering at that
point in the conversation.'
'You
hoover?'
'You
asking?'
'I'm
asking.'
'I
hoover.'
'You
hoover when people talk to you?'
'Only
if I cannot be bothered to listen. Besides at the
time I was dropping eaves while other people were
talking. They were outside, I was inside. Hoovering.
But, yes, I do still sometimes just hoover if someone
is talking to me and I don't like or understand what
they are saying. It helps me block things out and
not have to get confused by extra knowledge moving
into my head and getting rid of the stuff already
there which I want to keep. This makes sense, yes?
Anyway, I have not brought my vacuum with me, so you
don't have to worry about me starting it up on you
at any time or anything. Shall we search for the Boggles?'
The
president decided it was quicker not to take issue
with Lech's logic. 'I don't think that's our main
objective here,' he said. 'We have to find our way
out of this mind and onto terra firma.'
Lech
looked scared.
Mistaking
his facial expression for bewilderment, the president
elucidated:
'Earth.
I mean earth. The world. The land of the living. The…'
By
now, Lech 's face had assumed a look of frozen horror.
He raised his one good arm slowly to point with his
mangled fingers, indicating something behind JFK.
The president looked round sharply to see a series
of spiny tendrils emerging from the dark towards him.
Next
week: The plot sickens
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