SAVIOUR BREATH
(Mackay)
I found Jesus on TV
Presenting a show on cookery
He was mixing a lamb with a lion
The critics they had to crucify him
His recipe for fishes and loaves
Had them turning off in their droves
And all of the fans of religion
Agreed he was no Gordon Ramsay in the kitchen
His halo and beard made him look weird
His altar of formica couldn't save a hairy biker
Oh deary deary deary deary me
If this is reality
He'd be better off on Top Gear in a tractor
Cos he just hasn't got the X Factor
He auditioned for Joseph, it was sad
Watching him pretend to be his dad
He's saved Bethlehem, Jerusalem and Jordan
And now he's being consoled by Graham Norton
God has lost his flavour
He's gone and died a death
They say that he's the saviour
Well tell him, save yer breath
He went for a role in Harry Potter
He told them he could walk on the water
But they said he couldnae act, he had no grace
He couldnae even get on Songs of Praise
He failed to get a part on Doctor Who
Or be interviewed by Louis Theroux
So he asked Sharon Osbourne for advice
She said, Black Sabbath - the musical. On ice.
(from the album Idiopathic Hypergraphia)
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