MUSIC
BRITNEY'S GOT TARRANT
(Mackay)
Sister Sledge are adamant that we are family
But I've never met them or seen them at a wedding or a birthday party
I do believe these pop stars are just telling everyone a pack of lies
If Jarvis Cocker's Eric Morecambe, Rick Astley is Ernie Wise
Britney's got Tarrant
Locked in an apartment
In Hull
Lionel Ritchie said that he was dancing on the ceiling, so you see
We're supposed to think that this man can defy the laws of gravity
Maybe it is true, and he really does posess superpowers
And Badly Drawn Boy is actually well composed and knows his way to the showers
Britney's got Tarrant
Locked in an apartment
In Hull
I once caught a mouse who was a-running round the house spreading disease
I trapped it in a corner, took its picture and it smiled and said cheese
I thought, This is quite important - I have got a talking rodent
So I put it on TV. It is now a celebrity, but
Britney's still got Tarrant
Locked in an apartment
She feeds him questions from 'Millionaire'
He tends her babies and washes her hair
(from
the album Tartan
Special)
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